"I'm a driver. I'm a winner...

...things are gonna change, I can feel it. "

When I got home from grocery shopping last night, it was rather dark out. Which made the two vehicles with flashing lights sitting out front of my house even more visible and disconcerting. The vehicles were vans from my cable company - the kind they send out to fix your cable. Except there was no one walking around outside, and I can't for the life of me come up with an interior cable repair that would require two repairmen.


I was a bit unnerved, although this might have more to do with the rampant paranoia and madness running through the book-on-tape that I'm currently listening to in my van (A Scanner Darkly). As frequently happens when I read/listen to a well-written book in the first person, I absorb certain characterists of the main character. For instance, in highschool, when I read Flowers for Algernon, I began to lose my ability to read as Charlie's genius level intelligence faded. (It was a race to see if I could reach the end of the book before I became completely illiterate). Anyway, the point is, I was unnerved

Being unnerved, I went through the house, turning on lights and closing blinds. I know it won't stop a homicidal maniac but then I also know that a blanket can't stop a closet monster from eating me in my sleep, and I still sleep with a blanket over my head when I 'm spooked. Anyway. When I reached the front door, I opened it to check for packages (I wasn't expecting anything, but hey, you never know) and lit candles (I'd inadvertently left candles burning in the jack-o-lanterns on the front porch all the previous night. They were still burning when TheWife jogged my memory about them as I sat eating my breakfast cereal, and stupidity like that makes me a little OCD). So, anyway (geez, all these interuptions!). I opened the door, and there was a box! Not a little box, a largish box, about 1' x 2' x 3'.

It was an Filtrete Room Air Purifier. I assumed the it had been misdelivered, but no. There on the side was a shipping label with my name on it. Nothing else. Just that. I brought it inside and stared at it. This was clearly a part of the scheme being enacted by the "cable guys" still sitting out front. Once I got my fingerprints all over it, they'd rush in with badges and guns and bust me for possession of the 12 kilos of Substance-D inside. I stared at it some more, and as I stared, the Filtrete brand worked it's way through my brain. Hadn't I... There was a contest... I rushed downstairs and searched through my old emails.

There it was: first 500 peole to sign up for the Free Filtrete Filters Club would get a free Filtrete Room Air Purifier. Apparently, I'd won this $150 air purifier! I shot off an email, asking for the list of winners, and it just arrived. Yep, there I am, middle of the list. Weird. No email saying I'd won. No letter warning me to expect a package. Just a large box on my doorstep. Not the most professional way to run a contest, but who am I to complain? I just got a large gadget that does something that I don't really think needs doing. Something I'd never pay for, and can't see the use of. Oh well. They're just damn lucky I'm not a Boston cop, or we could've had an incident on our hands!