Vegetarian Butchers

An open letter to my readers:

I'd like to ask the Bush administration for some help. You see, I've always wanted to be a butcher. I've trained long hours for it, and I know the subject inside and out. There's nothing I've ever wanted to do more than work in a butcher shop. Butchers are such compassionate people!

This same feeling of compassion has led me to opt for a vegetarian lifestyle, and not only that, but to refuse to cut meat, or sell it to people. For some reason, many butcher shops are no longer willing to hire me. I need the Bush administration's help in overcoming these roadblocks that are being placed in the way of my conscience. That's why I'm writing to request that a new executive rule be enacted allowing me to refuse to cut or sell meat, and blocking butcher shops from firing me if I do.

After all, why should I be forced to sell meat, if it conflicts with my personal morals? Some will say that, perhaps, a butcher shop should be allowed to fire me for non-performance of my duties. But how can I if my conscience prohibits it? Others may suggest that perhaps I should find a non-butchering job if I am unwilling to cur or sell meat. But after all of my training, how could I justify that? Others still may wonder what will happen to small butcher shops without the funds to hire additional butchers if one or more of their limited staff should refuse to perform the work, but insist on still being paid. This too is nonsense. My conscience must trump the right of businesses to operate and of people to purchase meat. The others don't matter. It's all about me, and what I want. Why can't some people see this? Won't you all please write to your congresspersons and help me overcome this horrible wrong?

Sincerly,
The Fishmonger