Friday Spies (c)

from Begging The Question

Friday Spies© : Living and Dying in 3/4 Time Edition

1. What time do you go to bed? What time do you wake up?
My target is up at 5am, to bed at 9:30 pm. More likely I get to bed between 10 and 10:30. You don't want to be around me after a couple of 11pm nights. Think of every bad thing people say about me (you know who you are), and triple it.

2. What do you want done to/with your body after you die?
Well, I'm torn. I'd like to be converted to a diamond, since I came up with the idea. (I harbor no ill will to those who are marketting it. I'm just happy that one of my business ideas has come into being.) On the other hand, the genealogist in me wants to be buried in an old cemetary with lots of trees. I've got my headstone planned out too: The front will have the basic info, plus the code for the family history I'll write some day (either in Salt Lake City or at a local library). The back will have Fischer in large letters (to aid roaming genealogist), with a brass plaque below with the lyrics to At My Funeral by the Crash Test Dummies.

3. Describe your dream house.
Mostly, it just needs storage -lots of storage! Storage for craft projects, storage for genealogy data, storage for trinkets I've picked up but am not currently displaying, storage for all the seasonal stuff (christmas decorations, camping equipment, and so on), storage for books, storage for cds... hmmm scratch that... the house will be all set up for wireless data transfer, so all of my music can be stored on the server. There'll be a nice rec room, with a few old arcade games (asteroids, particularly), a big TV with dolby stereo for movies, and a nice bar with built in cabinets and refrigeration units. Plus there'd be room to display my collections of beer cans, pint glasses and other assorted breweriana. And the kitchen has to have about a million cabinets (a walk in pantry would be nice). And a dumb waiter... always wanted a dumb waiter. And while we're at it, how about a hidden room that you can only access by opening one of the bookshelves. And maybe a hidden staircase to the basement. And the yard! While the house would be complete when I moved in, the yard would not be. The back acres would have a prairie oak savanna, with some pathways mowed into it for ease of movement. The main area around the house would have a variety of trees and bushes, but no flowers. Flower beds would exist, with a variety of soils (sandy, loamy, boggy, etc.), but they would be empty, except for dirt and mulch. Then, I get to pick out plants to fill them up! 'twould indeed be lovely!

4. Are you an excellent driver? Do you speed, or drive the speed limit? Ever been ticketed?
HEh heh... ever been... heh, hah hah... Ahh ha haha haaaaa! Ha ha! Hahahahaha! Heh! Heh….. hmmm ..ahhh... Yes I've been ticketed. No… no I don't speed… not since the week of the speeding tickets that led to three months of weekly night classes. But what a class... I really got a feeling for the diversity of freakiness while I was in that class. We had the somewhat sleazy teenage girl who had managed to lose 36 out of 12 points on her license. Then there was the straightlaced teen guy, the bagpiper, the angry young black man who provoked the hispanic teen girl with ethnic slurs, the paranoid black man who wouldn't give his name, the speed freak(he'd gone over 120 on a cycle on a hilly backcountry road - served jail time for fleeing the police), and last, but not least, the nearly deaf old lady who couldn't understand why people got mad when she waited for 2 or 3 cars to go at a stop sign.. .when she even noticed the stop signs. The class was filled out with an assortment of relatively normal people. Of course, in that class where I seemed like one of the normal people by comparison.

5. What is your favorite animal, mineral, and vegetable?
Animal: I'm not really sure. Polar bears are awe inspiring. Beluga whales are cool. And dolphins, with their intelligence and friendliness toward humans. Then there's the gorillas - peaceful until stirred to anger. Chimps are too much like people to admire. But really, I guess it has to be dogs. Dogs and people have been partners for so long that I think we've developed a sort of genetic understanding of each other. Somehow dogs and people just fit.

Vegetable: Well, if this just means plant... I think oak trees. They're craggily beautiful in the summer sun, haunting in the winter dusk, and have such an aura of aged history about them. How could I not love them?

Mineral: Well... granite is nice. But Ima hafta go with star saphires. Loved 'em since I saw them in the World Book in Mr. Schroeder's room at Willow Springs Elementary. So, if anyone has one around the size of a baseball that I could borrow for a few days, let me know. And no, I'm not using it to constructa FU-Ray device. Whomever you heard that from is just hung up on labels. After all, mad scientist doesn't sum up my entire being! They're just fools.. Fools! FOOOLSSS! Aaaahhh ha ha haaaaa! I'll destroy them a- um, nevermind.